Shallow Hal

Last Sunday I was at this neighborhood mall. My friends were accompanying me. The neo-family-guy and the other two sexually-frustrated-lads. Now this mall is famous for the PYTs it attracts. These PYTs are not so visible in the other malls and regular places. It is like a babe-attack. They come. They conquer. They vanish. I mean as soon as you are out of the mall. Whoop and they are not there. They are not at the station. They are not in the car nearby. They are not on the road. They just dissolve in the thin air. NASA can actually look into it.

Speaking of the babe-attack. There is another attack - the 'chink-attack'. We witness it every now and then at the same blessed place. Now I am not racist. I am even for allowing business/romantic/business-o-romantic relations with the aliens. You go hump an alien me no give no fuck. My shotgun may. Anyway you can safely call me the most liberal dude who ever smoked weed under the dark perspiring sky. So coming back to the 'chink-attack'. They are chinks as we need to have chinks for a 'chink-attack'. So what's so great with it? Well they are all posh chinks. They stand out. No man all chinks do not look the same. There are some Indian chinks. Good chinks yet dirty chinks. Then we have some Japanese chinks. Posh chinks. Probably some extra dollars on the Indian side would have wiped out the difference. Anyway I could not figure out their 'town centre' as yet. Will let you horny bastards know as soon as my 'sexually-frustrated-lads discover their 'town centre' in one ot their voyages.

So, we were at this mall this Sunday. By devil's grace none of us are overweight despite of the gallons of beer running through our veins. So I was there to buy two chickens which I usually finish over a period of five days. Till the time we reached our usual supply centre in that mall, we encountered a lot of people - men and women. What was surprising that a majority of them were either very fat or very old. For a moment I was wondering if Baba Ramdev, the one eyed pirate was around or we were cursed with fat and old inhabitants of some alien land. Here we were and there was no babe-attack, no chink-attack and all the fatsos and oldies were looking down upon us, or only I felt so. A disappointing trip for my sexually -frustrated-lads. Me and the neo-family-guy were more bothered about our respective chicks. In my case I mean the chicken.

However we ended up buying two futons for us that day. We did not go there with an intension to buy anything that is not food or alcohol. That is the power of recommendation. Neo-family-guy's family gave some good review and highlighted all the plus points of a futon. If you do not know what a futon is, you should go and kill yourself. Yes I love saying this. 'If I were you, I would have killed myself' is something I have said to almost everyone I can. Anyway now we have a stinky flat we rented last year full of cigarette buds and beer cans with two futons trying to fix the haunted-house kind of look it has.